Pregnancy & Loss:  Rainbow Families Sees You

Losing a baby is so much more than how it can often be portrayed by others who haven’t had the experience. For most, it’s not “just a bunch of cells” or other distancing language that often gets used, but a baby or a possibility. Losing a pregnancy is about losing the dream of a future that had been mapped out.  Dreams of “firsts” and new experiences. Dreams of watching your partner get to parent . Dreams of creating the family that you had always imagined.

Pregnancy loss cuts those dreams off, without warning, and can be felt so deeply. It tends to be a time for a couple where each might grieve differently, causing some confusion in what had been felt to be a solid relationship. Oftentimes, it is the first time that as a couple, you’ve experienced something traumatic together.

Building a family within the LGBTQ+ community is a labor of intention and planning. There are no accidents.  As a result, losing a much-wanted pregnancy cuts more deeply and has so many layers.

This month, your loss is seen by those that haven’t walked in these shoes. Whether you’ve experienced embryos that didn’t form or grow, an IVF or IUI cycle that didn’t take, a chemical pregnancy, a molar pregnancy, an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, a termination for medical reasons, a stillbirth, or a neonatal loss: Rainbow Families sees you.  We are here to hold you in this time of pain as well as time of remembrance, and we are here to celebrate when you await building your family or as you parent that child.

Blog written by: Dr. Julie Bindeman, former Rainbow Families board member and leader of the RF Pregnancy/Parenting group and the Pre-Conception group.